I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Men who’ve made choices always feel they own their destiny. Few ever think to ask who shaped and offered up those choices. Who dangles the carrot they think they’ve chosen to follow.

I know that, your time is very precious, But Dear .I am also a prince, we will not meet again and again

One line of dialogue that rings true reveals character in a way that pages of description can't.

His regime has had high-level contacts with al Qaeda going back a decade and has provided training to al Qaeda terrorists.

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts

While most of the things you've worried about have never happened, it's a different story with the things you haven't worried about. They are the ones that happen.

Well, you know, like, I don't really give a f**k what the general public think.

You're never nice to your friends. You're nice to people you don't like!