I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

This man has talent, that man geniusAnd here's the strange and cruel difference:Talent gives pence and his reward is gold, Genius gives gold and gets no more than pence.

There was something familiar but strange about her - Snow White with a suntan. Cinderella in biker boots. Tough and delicate and magical and real all at once.

A constitutional democracy is in serious trouble if its citizenry does not have a certain degree of education and civic virtue.

As much as it's sometimes hard to make choices about where you invest, it's equally hard to make choices about where you don't invest and what you eliminate.

The most important environmental issue is one that is rarely mentioned, and that is the lack of a conservation ethic in our culture.

I have had the auditioning process go on for two weeks or three weeks. I am always incredibly anxious. The audition and the wait is definitely the hardest part for me.

I'm always gonna be an actor, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do next. I would love to make a documentary again someday, but I need to take a break from it.

May my tears run just as far, that my love might never know that one day I cried for him.

A conglomerate heap of trash, that's what I am. But it burns with a high flame.

There is no illness of the body except for the mind