I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

Knowledge and wisdom comes from interaction-- not from inaction.

Like most girls, her imagination carried her just as far as the altar and no further.

The best way out of a problem is through it.

I'm not a parenting expert by any means, but I've been interviewing and writing about kids for almost 20 years.

In the kingdome of blind men the one ey'd is king. [In the kingdom of blind men the one eyed is king.]

I don't bring my life into a character at all.

In the conduct of almost every affair slowness and procrastination are hateful

I don't know which me that I love, got no reflection.

Making music, being creative in some primal way, should be fun. Listening to it or playing it can and should take you out of yourself for some brief blissful moments.

An industrious sinner I much prefer to a lazy saint.