I’m really not interested in women as victims. Look at me, I get the last laugh ‘cause I get to be funny about it.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.

Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next.

Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.

Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.

That [photographs] disturb readers is exactly as it should be: that's why photojournalism is often more powerful than written journalism.

If you're looking for monogamy, you'd better marry a swan.

A cannonball travels only two thousand miles an hour

I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.

[R]evolutions of government cannot be effected by the mere force of argument and reasoning

Of all the things I miss the thing I miss the most is my mind.

The real job of every moral teacher is to keep bringing us back to the simple principles, which we're so anxious not to see.

Avoidance of mistakes is the beginning, as it is the end, of mastery in chess.

If quantitatively the American achievement is impressive, qualitatively it is somewhat less satisfying.

Kill them all in the Name of the Lord.

I send messages to the White House continuously

Nobody can be taught faster than he can learn.