I'm so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that's not the point.

Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air won't stay inside anymore.

As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command

How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?

Turns out even NASA can't improve on duct tape.

It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft.

Mars and my own stupidity keep trying to kill me.

I stumbled up the hill back toward the Hab. As I crested the rise, I saw something that made me very happy and something that made me very sad: The Hab was intact (yay!) and the MAV was gone (boo!).

Space is dangerous. It's what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.

The beauty of life is the bliss of being.

CRM is rather boring in itself. It's the fortune you can make using CRM that makes it so interesting.

We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.

Aristotle uses a mother's love for her child as the prime example of love or friendship.

No religion except ours has taught that man is born in sin; none of the philosophical sects has admitted it; none therefore has spoken the truth

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

It’s a good thing my parents named me Jon because that’s what everyone calls me.

When you least expect to recall something, a memory can pop up like an uninvited guest on your doorstep.

When I was a kid, I was at a bowling alley and I ran into a soda machine. I still have the scar on my right eyebrow obviously.

Obviously the first thing we need to do is repeal “Obamacare.” That's one entitlement that we can get rid of. And that's a couple trillion dollars in spending over the next 10 years.