I'm so pathetically eager for people to love D.C. It's so sad. It's like I work for the chamber of commerce or something.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

There is no knowing that does not begin with knowing God.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious

That great Cathedral space which was childhood.

Maybe people don't think moms are cool. I don't know what to say about it. I don't know. Romantic comedies aren't for everybody, so maybe mom movies aren't for everybody.

Just take a breath and see what happens.

Think about what is in front of you, if you must think.

Plant no other tree before the vine.

You have to remember now, I was not being terribly successful at going solo.

No artist is ahead of his time. He is his time; it is just that others are behind the times.

I like to surprise myself. I've always been attracted to projects where I don't know how they're going to turn out.