I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?"

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.

People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

There is a big evil and danger in miracle centered gospel.

They’ll Keep Telling You Win The Game, But I ‘m Telling You, Always Enjoy Being a part Of It.

It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I long for the raised voice, the howl of rage or love.

Divorce was very sad, obviously, but now I've gotten over it.

The Kyoto Protocol...the first component of an authentic global governance.

High school is a dark place; I hung out with ‘freaks.’

My immediate family was always very supportive. It was my own fear of the rest of the world not accepting me, the rest of our society not accepting my wish to be an actor.

Minds are simply what brains do.

The fears you run from run to you.