I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

Look after your body and your body will look after you

An author’s strong belief and enthusiasm will affect the writing of the book and often the publisher’s commitment to it.

Handcuffs weigh much more than gravestones.(from "Gratitude")

I might have been born into a very literal sense of chaos, but in fact that state is true of all of us.

The world could only be known as it existed in men's hearts. For while it seemed a place which contained men it was in reality a place contained within them.

Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.

My homeland is not a suitcase, and I am no traveller

It is cruelty in war that buyeth conquest.

Politics are now nothing more than means of rising in the world. With this sole view do men engage in politics, and their whole conduct proceeds upon it.

Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom.