I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

You’ve been inexpressibly lucky, ” he said finally. “And inexpressibly mad, although in your case the two seem to be the same thing

Catching something is purely a byproduct of our fishing. It is the act of fishing that wipes away all grief lightens all worry dissolves all fear and anxiety.

Religion is the belief in an ever-living God, that is, in a Divine Mind and Will ruling the Universe and holding moral relations with mankind.

Songs are like fish. You just gotta have your line in the water. And it's a bad idea to fish downstream from Bob Dylan.

I wasn't acting on passion. I was simply acting.

By then running had entered the realm of the metaphysical. First there came the action of running, and accompanying it there was this entity known as me. I run; therefore I am.

I fear we may live to see another revolution.

People do want to know the personal things. How far is too far to go with personal lives?

I also love a film by Ang Lee - "Lust, Caution."

I was there [in school] the full time with one teacher, and the student body was never more than 10 or 12 students of all ages.