I'm the most translated writer in the world, behind Lenin, Tolstoy, Gorki and Jules Verne. And they're all dead.

The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book.

The most important part of a story is the ending. No one reads a book to get to the middle.

I'm actually a softie. Tough guys get killed too early... I've got a full head of hair and don't wear eyeglasses.

Inspiration is an empty bank account.

Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell Cognac.

Nobody reads a book to get to the middle.

If the public likes you, you're good. Shakespeare was a common, down-to-earth writer in his day.

Those big-shot writers ... could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar.

I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers. And customers are your friends.

If I need something, I'll invent it.

Daily ripples of excellence -over time- become a tsunami of success

We are like Humpty Dumpty and all these king's horses and all these king's men cannot put us back together again

You can accomplish virtually anything if you want it badly enough and if you are willing to work long enough and hard enough.

You can never really go wrong if you take nature as an example

I never wanted to be one of those actors with a political agenda.

I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

You really have to listen to yourself and know if what someone is saying is true for you

The essay is one of my favourite forms of writing, and I feel like what's inside is really personal, more so than with shorter pieces.

I just think they look good on people. You spend a lot of time in the mirror looking at yourself when you have tattoos. Same way with other people. It just looks good.

People who know me know that theres a light-hearted side, humour... But you could easily say I am cheeky.