I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.

Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!

Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

I've never said flange to a monkey!

When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

Don't trust your head, Samwise, it is not the best part of you.

History is written by the victors.

Friends are like ants, they walk into your life unnoticed and take over your life as if its like their own. But unlike ants they leave behind million smiles, uncountable memories.

Men run away to other countries because they are not good in their own and run back to their own because they pass for nothing in the new places.

It is not monogamy when there is one legal wife, and mistresses out of sight.

The actor must use his imagination to be able to answer all questions (when, where, why, how). Make the make-believer existence more definite.

Be yourself-but don't be conspicuous.

Love God, Embrace beauty, Live life to the fullest.

Most actors don't grow up with sweet, vanilla parents.

Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead