I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

She was smiling. And it's all I ever wanted.

The best we can do is size up the chances calculate the risks involved estimate our ability to deal with them and then make our plans with confidence.

But at a certain point, you have to take your influence and find your own voice if you want to become a relevant artist.

Day's lustrous eyes grow heavy in sweet death.

I wanted to know everything about the blues. I think it constantly changes for me.

I was not going to kick back and wait for the unknown. I was going to dive in and become a full-time healing junkie.

I'm a happy-go-lucky character. I'm not that miserable. But I can never let anyone into my world.

I love the Bee Gees, but only the pre-disco stuff. From '64 to '69, I've got all their albums.

People who are very beautiful make their own laws.

How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name.