I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.

The truest treasure is a soul who believes in its own existence

I realised one day that men are emotional cripples. We can't express ourselves emotionally, we can only do it with anger and humour. Emotional stability and expression comes from women.

In musical theater, if you have a song, it has to advance the plot. If you have a song in a musical and it does not advance the plot, it gets dropped.

Habits, good or bad, can always be traced back to your own thinking.

Before a baby is born, you have a baby shower, not a fetus shower.

I'm not a guy who needs to read motivation books.

I have to say that I thought search-and-rescue duties over Snowdonia were physically and mentally demanding, but looking after a 3-week-old baby is up there!

Fire is the Sun unwinding from the tree's log.

Like a lot of what happens in novels, inspiration is a sort of spontaneous combustion--the oily rags of the head and heart.