I'm thinking of a presidential bid; currently indexing and cross-referencing everyone I've tweeted my junk to. 8x10s available.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

May the Creator guide you in unfamiliar path.

I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.

I'd searched everywhere for this thing called love. I went through life seeking something that would be the ultimate.

Your two guardian angels are always with you. The other angels come and go as we need them.

I think it's a bit silly to brand the Internet as the 'downfall of youth.'

tell me how does it feel with my teeth in your heart!

What's so wonderful about 'The Walking Dead' is that we're able to explore human nature in its most depraved as well as its most humanitarian in each episode.

To be kind neither hurts nor compromises.

Life's too short not to enjoy what you're working on.

Every period has its own optical focus.