I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

To lead a successful life, then, it's a good idea to work out what you really want. Then get together some plans. Then set some goals.

My book 'Ali Pasha' tells the true story of a young sailor Henry Friston, who, in the hell-fire of battle, forms an unusual friendship.

Catastrophe and creation are twins.

The permit limits are pretty close to what the reality is.

There's only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don't have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn't take your life that serious.

Someone needs to talk sense to the president. But these people are not world travelers. This president, much as I like him, had all the opportunities in the world.

Sometimes in the heat of the battle you just got to calm down and use what you do in practice to avoid the penalties.

I don't have many friends so the phone doesn't ring and no one's asking me to go out and go dancing with them.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?

Being smart as a whip includes knowing when not to crack it.