I'm too amused by the way people carry on to give in to despair.

With madness, as with vomit, it's the passerby who receives the inconvenience.

The kind of people who always go on about whether a thing is in good taste invariably have very bad taste.

I'd the upbringing a nun would envy. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.

The Oscar Wilde of Welfare State gentility.

Every luxury was lavished on you - atheism, breastfeeding, circumcision.

God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes

Civilizations have been founded and maintained on theories which refused to obey facts.

Policemen, like red squirrels, must be protected.

FAY: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. TRUSCOTT: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

That wasn't love

If we were rational enough to judge what we are fed based on what we are fed, those in the business of selling us hope (i.e., public speakers, presidents, priests, etc.) wouldn't wear suits.

Fear is an uneasiness of the mind upon the thought of a future evil likely to befall us.

There are some people who're all doctors. Is it genetic?

Stand up, be counted. We have the numbers.

To a life that seizes Upon content, Locality seems But accident.

Punk's not dead, it's just at K-Mart.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

Just over 800 people were gathered around the cooking stage, all eager to learn about my five-minute flavor cooking. The demonstration had to be done right then and there, in front of everyone.

A belief system is nothing more than a thought you've thought over and over again.