I'm very proud to know the Koch brothers. This may be a breaking news announcement for the media: I am the Koch brothers' brother from another mother.

Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success.

The endorsement process is an evolution. What you try to do is you endorse someone that you believe in and their ideas and their solutions align with yours.

Let me tell you what the Cain Doctrine would be, as it relates to Israel if I were president. You mess with Israel, you are messing with the United States of America!

They call me racist too just because I disagree with a President who happens to be black. You are not racists - you are patriots.

The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is. [...] A manly man don't want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.

It's not about me, it's about the grandkids. That's what a lot of people don't understand about what Herman is up to.

Stupid people are ruining America.

Don't blame Wall Street. Don't blame the big banks. If you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself!

It's not Planned Parenthood. No, it's planned genocide. You can quote me on that.

I am suspending my presidential campaign.

I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it.

Are you dedicated to your patient or your ego?

A mentoring nurse to new doctors: "Check your own pulse first.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.

Wisdom is the right application of knowledge; and true education...is the application of knowledge to the development of a noble and Godlike character.

I believe that this is a different war than America has ever fought in the past. It is a nonconventional war. It means that you've got to use every tool you've got available to you...

Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!

I'll be damned, you got laid.

Stick with your passion, and keep moving forward. You can't go wrong.