I'm watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Sitting on the hot seat of change requires much courage, patience, and persistence.

The past was filling the room like a tide of whispers.

To me she looked like a lily, an innocence floating in the pond!

From the moment I saw you, I wanted you in my dreams

I don't have the will for singing but I must do it.

The pathway to lasting honor is to honor Christ.

I'm rich, freakin' rich. It's crazy.

I have the responsibility to work hard and get ready so we can take this team where we need to go.

It is possible to call Tolstoy Kitsch.

My persistence is the measure of the belief I have in myself.