I'm writing a memoir. I'm four pages in. I start with my first memory, which is kicking my uncle in the balls. I was four.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Any life wasted or spent is gone and it will never come back.

Master the chaos within yourself and I promise you, you will gain the strength to withstand any storm.

Some memories are meant for not to be said, either they are too Scary to tell, or we love them that much, that we can’t explain those in oral words

It's good to raise awareness that men and boys are struggling, at least many of them are. But why say men are finished? It's too harsh, too sweeping, and it happens to not be true.

I used to kind of blame someone for not being able to get through that - I'm talking about the addiction part - but I've had a few experiences recently where you don't blame the person anymore.

This thing called rhymin' is no different than coal minin'; We both on assignment to unearth the diamond.

Our need to knock celebrities is...Twisted: it's deep in the mid-brain below the survival instinct. That lust to see a downfall. It's animalistic.

Art does not begin with imitation, but with discipline.

The day, man will find that he never really dies; that his Soul persists beyond death; he will have no more fear of death.

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn fast.