I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I'm afraid even ImpSec has no explanation for women's tastes in men.

Every man is enthusiastic at times. One man has enthusiasm for thirty minutes another man has it for thirty days. But it is the man who has it for thirty years who makes a success in life.

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.

There were a thousand secrets in her eyes, a thousand wounds. A lifetime of distrust and betrayal. Isolation. How did one overcome such things?

It's kind of true, you do disappear off the planet if you are a middle-aged woman, but that has some advantages as well.

I date, but the person I date most is myself, unfortunately.

Putting Americans at risk for a political reason I think is wrong and I think it's unfortunate.

Only worry about things that are within your control

It's never too early to panic.