I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, and that's not what was supposed to happen.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

For my whole life, my favorite activity was reading. It's not the most social pastime.

Negative self talk costs more than even the richest person can afford. So be nice to yourself whenever possible … and know that it is always possible.

Learning to cultivate an awareness of the known and unknown within one's being often leads to a healthier and more realistic sense of self.

Virtue, once bragged about, once you pride yourself upon it, ceases to be such.

A thorough knowledge of the elements takes us more than half the road to mastership

Saying someone is ugly doesn't make you any prettier.

Celebrity is a mask that eats into the face.

The stupidest thing she knew was for people to act like they knew all about the things they knew absolutely nothing about.

-I'm trying to make myself invisible. -That's an odd thing to attempt.

For me to bring a character to life, you've got to be able to find your own truth.