I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.

I may forgive, but I'll never forget. Sometimes the hurt runs so deep, that it may take a lifetime to flush it out.

The dark comedies tend to be in a non-releasable area. There can be romantic comedies. There can be dramas. But there's no 'dark comedy' inbox for the advertising.

Like snowflakes, the human pattern is never cast twice. We are uncommonly and marvelously intricate in thought and action, our problems are most complex and, too often, silently borne.

Going home, it's what everybody's trying to do from the day they're born to the day they die, but going home together - that's marriage.

Freeing the body inevitably leads to freeing the heart.

Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

There are a number of things that set Southern artists apart from anyone else. Their obsession with place and their obsession with family.

Anything done against faith or conscience is sinful.