I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Loneliness of heartIn the still of the night my heart doth cry out, who can hear it for time is far spent. In the darkness in the shadow of the depth I find isolation and fear...

For those living in a dark cave... sometimes all it takes is for someone to throw us a lifeline.

She shot him a look she thought he might still remember, the same one a rattler gives right before it strikes.

Culture is like the visible and invisible levels of an iceberg -”the solid state of “water.

To reclaim the prodigal is well, but to save him from ever being a prodigal is better.

Because I had grown up with Jane Austen novels and period dramas, I was very familiar with that period and that world.

Nobody could disappear to their trailer once it was up and running, you were all there on the same stage. It was 10 days of rehearsal and 10 days of shooting, which was very tiring.

I drink when I want and how much I want. Sometimes I get in really bad states, but it doesn't cause me or anyone else any problems.

In the Way of Heaven, there is no partiality of love; it is always on the side of the good man.

Poetry cannot take sides except with life.