I may be drunk but at least I'm not insane.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

The essence of a culture of honor is that it does not sanction predatory or instrumental violence, but only retaliation after an insult or other mistreatment.

May my haters live long to see my success.

Unreasonable self-criticism represents a form of self-hatred and fear.

You were abducted by space aliens. Of course you want egg rolls.

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.

The pleasure I gave my lovers was a four fifth of the pleasure I experienced.

Your company does not belong inmarkets where it cannot be the best.

Here's the point to be made - there are no synonyms. There are no two words that mean exactly the same thing.

My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.