I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.

I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

I worry that humanity has been "advanced" to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.

The only things that all men want is a woman that respects him and challenge his intelligence plus ambitions.

True love

Each day is a new chance to improve your life, and that of your family, friends and colleagues. Be positive in your outlook, honest in your dealing and determined in your efforts. You will succeed

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

Credentials have been a problem for a long time in my work. Originality has been my strength, and credentials and academia have not been.

Journalists don't need a get-out-of-jail-free card, ... Instead we should be given more access to information.

I grew up with a great sense of insecurity in figuring out what I was and where I belonged.

Don't be afraid to do the most insane thing. Don't think it's too crazy. Just go for it.

You've only got so long to live.