I mean, I really liked him to the point where being around him was sort of wonderful and painful all at the same time, you know?

I didn't come up with the lie. It wasn't mine. They handed the lie to me, and I tried like hell to make it work for a while.

Now whenever I left class to go to the boys' room, I worried that I would end up on the blue tiled floor in a puddle of piss and blood.

If a fight looks like a lot of fun, you should be suspicious. 'If you ain't scared of standing up for what's right, you ain't standing up for much.

Please your mother: just lie around upstairs and smoke some pot. Be a revolutionary.

She kissed me on the cheek, and my mom sang Theresa’s name from the open front door. She loves Theresa. I think she loves me more when I’m with her.

I could feel his hand on my waist, his arms around me, feel the rise and fall of his chest next to mine as I held my breath, and wished the sun would drop out of the sky.

It was duck apocalypse!

Dude, ” he said instead, “I’m flattered as hell.” And then he kicked my foot, lightly, twice. He was smiling.He couldn’t see the chasm that had opened behind my ribs.

I've always wanted to wake up one day in a world where I liked the right people, and they lied me in return. I worry it'll never happen.

I do like the way people behave toward me and Theresa when we’re together-everyone’s voice changes to music, and we get all sorts of smiles.

We must continually remind ourselves that there is a difference between what is natural and what is actually good for us.

In the night of death hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.

From time immemorial artistic insights have been revealed to artists in their sleep and in dreams, so that at all times they ardently desired them.

Always desire to learn something useful.

The Law of Concentration states that whatever you dwell upon, grows. The more you think about something, the more it becomes part of your reality.

If you are like most people, then like most people, you don't know you're like most people.

Shooting videos with lots of effects is like shooting a bunch of puzzle pieces.

There is no substitute for milk. Sorry.

This very moment of your life, if you experience it fully, will show you astonishing wonders and exquisite delights.

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.