I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

Trust me, there are things in this mountain that will make your jaw bounce off the floor.

We work not only to produce but to give value to time.

Let him who elevates himself above humanity . . . say, if he pleases, "I will never compromise"; but let no one who is not above the frailties of our common nature disdain compromise.

I know the most important faculty to develop is one for hard, continuous and varied work and living; but the difference between knowing this and doing anything consistent about it is often abysmal.

If there is one conclusion to which human experience unmistakably points it is that democratic ends demand democratic methods for their realization.

God picked a junior high girl [to be Jesus' mother]. Jesus was raised by a woman who today, we wouldn't even let her lead a bible study at a high school. But she could raise God.

The reason I can't follow the old eye-for-an-eye philosophy is that it ends up leaving everyone blind.

Though I know he loves me, tonight my heart is sad; his kiss was not so wonderful as all the dreams I had.

I'm disappointed in acting as a craft. I want everything to go back to Orson Welles and fake noses and changing your voice. It's become so much about personality.