I mean I would still love to be in Mel Brooks' movies; he's great.

My very first kiss happened when I was 6, underneath some desks during 'nap time', but my first real kiss happened when I was 15 in the parking lot at a Mexican food restaurant.

You have to emote much more to get what you're trying to get across to come through a quarter inch of latex that's superglued to your face.

I don't think I should tell you what to do, nor should the government. As long as you enjoy your own personal liberties and don't infringe on the liberties of others, I don't care.

I feel fortunate. I've really gotten to work with amazing talented people, and to learn from them, which is why I'm doing this. If I can work with the best director I'm going to do it.

I was always Armie. There couldn't be a 90-year-old Armand and a 9-day-old one. And I heard enough jokes about baking soda.

As a fluke, my great-grandfather hit one of the largest oil reserves in California.

I think a primal role of a man in a relationship is to protect his woman.

I have to wear six pairs of speedos when I run.

I'm half Jewish, but no one believes me because my looks lean a little WASP-y... It's sometimes hard for me to get the roles I'm drawn to.

There were two auditions for The Social Network, one with Aaron Sorkin and one with David Fincher. I was a nervous wreck. I was like, Okay, how do I hold the paper without my hands making it shake?

Everyone we interact with has the capacity to surprise us in an infinite number of ways. What can first open us up to each of our innate capacities for love is merely to recognize that.

To die hating them, that was freedom

Warner Studios official in the era of silent movies: Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?

Never allow anyone who has not invested in you to define you. You always need to see proof of a Return on Investment.

Friendship based solely upon gratitude is like a photograph; with time it fades.

If hand-spinning is an effective method of making India self-supporting, it must be made part of the franchise.

I can honestly say it took two full years for me to get over the fact that I was no longer a baseball player.

Maybe I should go back to teaching school about crazy people instead of being one. (Jim Alvin)

I want to play a strong, kickass girl in heels. I'm better in heels. I can run faster in them than in flats.

Good health, longevity, happiness, a loving family, self-reliance, fine friends … if you [have] five, you’re a rich man….