I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.

We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!

You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

Camelot is a silly place.

I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!

Always look on the bright side of life.

We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will always kill me.

The way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on earth. It conquers all things.

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

A man or a ruler should always take up a task after thoroughly considering its consequences. Otherwise fate also cannot protect his wealth.

People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have a man of substance in there, you have the makings of a first-class funeral.

I didn't want to stay until I had used up all the enjoyment because that's too long to stay anywhere.

The color of your skin is your uniform in this ultimate battle for the survival of the West.

What do you do with a lifetime of work? Face it in the morning.

Blissfulness does not compel you to behave in any particular way. Out of bliss, I can laugh or cry; I can sit quietly or be active in the world.

To make converts is the natural ambition of everyone.