I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

I like dogs. You always know what a dog is thinking. It has four moods. Happy, sad, cross and concentrating. Also, dogs are faithful and they do not tell lies because they cannot talk.

An editor is someone who is paid to tell a writer what she thinks about how he wrote what he thinks about.

A secret remains a secret until you make someone promise never to reveal it.

If there is no absolute moral standard, then one cannot say in a final sense that anything is right or wrong.

I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.

When you know a person particularly well, you cannot escape their ruffled feelings.

[Jonathan Edwards] he has to be engaged with on this issue if you're writing about Calvinism as I am in this book.

For every seeing soul, there are two absorbing facts - I, and the abyss.

Thinking that morality is all about commandments is a relatively new way of thinking, since the Reformation.

Just as no great painting has ever been created by a committee, no great vision has ever emerged from the herd.