I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

My duty is to pray. I know God hears my prayers.

If ever I had any doubts about the fundamental realities of religion, they could always be dispelled by one memory- the light upon my father's face as he came back from early communion.

I haven't had a lot of celebrities around me growing up.

The man is the Piltdown Man of modern politics.

My diet is usually pretty consistent whether I'm training for a specific fight or not. I don't like to mess too much with it.

What the public criticizes in you, cultivate. It is you.

I find Lady Gaga hilarious. And I kind of like her. My heart's warmed to her.

Just one living cell in the human body is, more complex than New York City.

We all have a destiny in accordance with the breadth of our shoulders. My shoulders are broad.

I am a patriot and I want to see this country [the USA] soar again.