I measure my days by the number of homicidal thoughts I have. I only had two today. So it must have been good.

People take power trips at the most inopportune times.

His overactive charm poured out like a lone drainage pipe after a flash flood.

He had a bushy unibrow that could house a family of quail.

She swore she'd never turn into her P.I. father...but that was before she ran over the body.

Life has ... taught me not to expect success to be the inevitable result of my endeavors. She taught me to seek sustenance from the endeavor itself but to leave the result to God.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

All a child's life depends on the ideal it has of its parents. Destroy that and everything goes — morals, behaviour, everything. Absolute trust in some one else is the essence of education.

Like the railroads that brought us together in the 19th century, these trails will bring us together in the 20th and 21st centuries. (at launch of the National Millennium Trails Program, 1999)

China's ability to deliver nuclear warheads on American cities is expanding.

It is any day better to stand erect with a broken and bandaged head then to crawl on one's belly, in order to be able to save one's head.

I could be anything I wanted because I was an American. And I hope that that's really what's propelled me into public service.

You knew you were an Arab if your ride form the airport was two dozen people.

Humility reminds you that in order to receive value, you must create value in equal measure.

Again and again I find that my own inner counselor, my secret dreaming self, is not only wise and helpful but usually amusing as well.