I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game

All's fair if you have a really good attorney.

I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the message we tried to send out - there is hearing help out there, and the technology and options are amazing.

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!

And when there are enough outsiders together in one place, a mystic osmosis takes place and you're inside.

Pain is an illusion, an illusion that really really hurts!

Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.

Everyone’s running from something.

Being a first-round draft pick means nothing to me without my education.

The externals are simply so many props; everything we need is within us.

The first rule of baseball is to get a good ball to hit.

I invite you to consider anew what you know and what you have; what you are here for and where you are going; and how you are going to do what you have come here to do. p 13

I sometimes think one of the great blessings we shall enjoy in heaven, will be to receive letters by every post and never be obliged to reply to them.