I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma Mazur

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

The right of the majority is absolute.

I'm drunk. Correct. What the f*** is it to you?

Everything a baptized person does each day should be directly or indirectly related to the corporal and spiritual works of mercy.

You cannot lay down a standard which all must follow.

Girls scare me more than boys. Boys are cruel. Girls are mean.

Michio Kaku and Albert Einstein, they're both so ahead of our time. It's just fascinating to read about them, what their theories are on loopholes and everything else. It's fascinating stuff.

I told him I had always kept my inner Martha Stewart chained in the basement, but for his sake I would set her loose.” ~ Haven Travis

Glamour really has to do with good lighting, doesn't it?

Apparently, they believe they're gods.

I mean, as an athlete, as a competitor, you have to have that belief in yourself.