I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Happiness and beauty are the worst things you can have in a life, because you never forget them. They go on and on ambushing you, presumably until you die.

There was a little girl And she had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead When she was good she was very very good When she was bad she was horrid.

Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes.

If you're with someone you don't exactly trust then you have to watch yourself and that's the hardest thing for an actor not to do, and not listen to yourself as you're talking.

Truth, like time, is an idea arising from, and dependent upon, human intercourse.

A pessimist and an optimist, so much the worse; so much the better.

My life is blessed; I have held my children's children.

I defy anyone - and I have said this to the Germans - to build a solid, articulated, and viable Europe without France's consent.

Vince McMahon said alright, we're going to call you the Blue Blazer.

I just use fashion as an excuse to talk about politics. Because I'm a fashion designer, it gives me a voice, which is really good.