I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Oh, you want me to lie still while you check me out? Damn, Red, if I'd have known that earlier I would've been horizontal already.

Chris Hughton has been sacked by Norwich. Now? With 5 games to go? Utterly bonkers!

If a car comes past me in a traffic jam with a boom box going, I jump out of my skin. Those big booming basses. I'm just more sensitive to noise these days.

Don’t simply settle for what your parents had. You can go further than that. You can do more, have more, be more.

I have always taken care to put an idea or emotion behind my words. I have made it a habit to be suspicious of the mere music of words.

Be careful! Never show your superiors that you are superior to them.

I know very little about acting. I'm just an incredibly gifted faker.

I cannot tell good art from bad art. I have no eye for it.

I am not someone who likes cocktail parties or large dinner parties, but I have to attend them often. I much prefer very small dinners with close friends.

Martin Luther was asked, what would you do if tomorrow the world would come to an end, and he said, 'I would plant an apple tree today.' This is a real good answer. I would start shooting a movie.