I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.

Ladies haven't the luxury of being squeamish about blood.

When [the] life span of America women is approaching eighty years having kids is not going to take it up.

I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident.

Meekness enables us to be led by the Spirit of God.

It may be said that modern Europe with teachers who inform it that its realist instincts are beautiful, acts ill and honors what is ill.

As Al Franken has demonstrated, liberals give lousy talk radio.

Tragically, we live in a day when offense to God doesn't matter nearly as much as offense to others.

How we speak to our children and the words we use can encourage and uplift them and strengthen their faith.

If my father could have sat up in bed and said goodbye, I'd have pressed the button. I wouldn't have been able to see for crying, but I would have considered that a duty.