I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Honesty's the best policy.

I am an enthusiastic Darwinian, but I think Darwinism is too big a theory to be confined to the narrow context of the gene.

Americans of faith should try as hard to save the lives of African women as the lives of unborn fetuses.

We never choose anything at all. Things happen. Or not.

A female vocal can lift a song.

We need to learn to let go as easily as we grasp and we will find our hands full and our minds empty.

Rhyme written in graffiti xeroxed on blueprints, students influenced are now a nuisance.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.

History is only a tiresome repetition of one story. Persons and classes have sought to win possession of the power of the State in order to live luxuriously out of the earnings of others