I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

...or like an old friend one has known too well and doesn't want to see.

The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love.

I've always felt that your belongings have never been on a level with you.

Love. Resoundingly and absolutely.

Your mantra is thank you. Just keep saying thank you. Don't explain. Don't complain. Just say thank you. Say thank you to existence.

Integrity: A name is the blueprint of the thing we call character. You ask, What's in a name? I answer, Just about everything you do.

Among other evils which being unarmed brings you, it causes you to be despised.

But you'd have a job to find many of my poems which would seem to be very influenced by a particular person.

The reason why most of actors got into acting was so that we could become other people and have fun with being somebody else.

All wealth is relative; and so is its absence.