I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Success is a process of learning, growth, progression and faithfulness.

I don’t think I could have picked a worse guy to be my soul mate.

My lips and eyes and heart were stinging when you kissed me in the dark. — Jack Garton to Jennifer Hammer, 2008 (age 24)

Guilt is glorious when it's well earned.

Walt Disney and I always said we were two children looking for our inner adults.

My strength returns to me with my cup of coffee and the reading of the psalms.

My love came back to me Under the November tree Shelterless and dim. He put his hand upon my shoulder, He did not think me strange or older, Nor I, him.

Love what you are doing because that’s the only way you’ll ever be really good at it.

The church alone beyond all question Has for ill-gotten goods the right digestion.

Names are changed more readily than doctrines, and doctrines more readily than ceremonies.