I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

I cannot sleep unless I am surrounded by books.

The clue to book jacket photography is to look friendly and approachable, but not too glamorous.

Love is a consistent passion to give, not a meek persistent hope to receive. The only demand of life is the privilege to love all.

As attunement to psychic (occult) reality has grown in America, one often misunderstood and secretive branch of it has begun to flourish also - magical religion.

...there is no evidence that casual exposure to secondhand smoke has any impact on your life expectancy.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

Everyone tells you how they are going to be "special", but few do the work to get there. Do the work.

Don't waste the breath to save your face, When you have done your best, And even more is asked of you, Let fate decide the rest.

The desire for truth is the highest of all desires, yet, it is still a desire. All desires must be given up for the real to be.....When all search ceases, it is the Supreme State.

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?