I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Perhaps her requirements were too great, Or her indulgence for human weakness too small, For her attempts to form a friendship had alwaysEnded in disappointment.

He who recollects a thing by which he was once pleased desires to possess it in the same circumstances as when he first was pleased by it. He who was never pleased is doomed to an eternal hard-on.

Nature is a catchment of sorrows.

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.

Do not make the mistake of believing that he does not love you because he plays at not caring.

It is our talents rusting unused within us that secrete the poison of self-doubt into our bloodstream.

I will not fail: God is always victorious.

What characterizes a poem is its necessary dependence on words as much as its struggle to transcend them.

Were the diver to think on the jaws of the shark, he would never lay hands on the precious pearl.

Donald Trump was appealing to a lot of people with his populist message.