I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

What is the purpose of living if there are no perils to be encountered and overcome?

God hath made man upright but they have sought out many inventions.

Religion is an illusion of childhood, outgrown under proper education.

If you're an American and you are, you know, subscribing to the ideals and the creed and the values that we believe in as a country, you know, then we don't have a religious test in this country.

Revolution is like the daughters of Pelias: it cuts humanity to pieces in order to rejuvenate it.

Irene Bennett Brown keeps the promise of her gifted writing and love for history inside this fine contemporary mystery. I loved it.

I sometimes feel like when you're talking to boys, they just hear certain keywords… But if you had a bubble above their head, they'd be thinking about game scores, masturbation and food.

Peter's Principle: In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.

I am the Avatar of this Age!

The organic fundamental error of humanism was that it desired to educate the common people (on whom it looked down) from its lofty stance instead of trying to understand them and to learn from them.