I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.

She's been on more laps than a napkin.

I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.

Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.

Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.

We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.

Us in the graveyard, we wants you to stay alive. We wants you to surprise us and disappoint us and impress us and amaze us.

Most boys have seasons of wishing they could die gloriously instead of just being grocery clerks and going on with their humdrum lives.

Let us watch against PRIDE in every shapepride of intellect, pride of wealth, pride in our own goodness.

The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization.

If you really want a humanized birth, the best thing you can do is stay the hell out of the hospital.

The French were mystified about the Watergate scandal.

You hold in your hands the future of the world.

I have a life coach out with me on tour, a very nice guy from L.A. He just prepares me for each day.

We don't trust anyone who does anything nice. That's just the sad world we live in.