I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

It is important that we learn to smile, Life will anyway teach us to cry!

...Trying is not the same as being. Trying flies in a circle around the moment and *being* is inside of it.

Wickedness is like cart ropes.

I didn't care much what happened to me, so chance didn't matter.

The machine enslaves, the hand sets free.

Never take over the world to tamper with it. Those who want to tamper with it are not fit to take over the world.

Love happens! I release the desperate need for love, and instead, allow it to find me in the perfect time-space sequence.

If a spectator with a philosophical mind, somebody accustomed to reading books, gets the same kind of information in a movie, he might not fully understand it.

The worst has happened ... it's rather liberating.

I'm now a legend, whether I want to be or not.