I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Scientism and godism are superstitions, one blindly believes in what's visible, the other blindly believes in what's invisible.

He hath great neede of a foole, that plaies the foole himselfe.

Please note that, at no point in the performance, does my hand leave the end of my arm.

The man who becomes a critic by trade ceases, in reality, to be one at all.

I don't think a party can aspire to be the majority party if it's the old white guy party.

You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow, rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

I think the difference between me and some of the other YBAs [Young British Artists] was that I was ambitious for the work, and not ambitious for myself.

With any character, I try to focus more on who the character is and how they got to be who they are.

How do you like to go up in a swing, Up in the air so blue? Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing Ever a child can do!

Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I.