I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Gathering eggs is commonsense

Some things were better lost than found.

Love is all there is, it makes the world go around. Love and only love, it can't be denied.

They say Elvis is dead. I say, no, you're looking at him. Elvis isn't dead; he just changed color.

There is no condition so severe that you cannot reverse it by choosing different thoughts.

First person narrative is a very effective tool but you have to know as a writer how to make it work.

Arguments are too much like disputes.

'Upside Down' is a fantasy love story. It's about love at first sight - when you just fall in love instantly and will battle any obstacle to be with that girl.

Modern war is so expensive that we feel trade to be a better avenue to plunder; but modern man inherits all the innate pugnacity and all the love of glory of his ancestors.

Tis ever common That men are merriest when they are from home.