I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.

A character for steadiness once gone is not easily recovered

If you are not happy with your life, it is most probably because you have eagle eyes to see the negative parts of your life and almost blind to the beautiful side!

The line between lawful and unlawful abortion will be marked by the fact of having sensation and being alive.

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you.

I'm tryin' to think, but nothin' happens!

Lamborghini is refinement, luxury and perfection.

Knowledge ... shall always bear witness like a clarion to its creator.

I love country music, but I find it very hard to take it seriously. I also think a lot of country music is sung with the tongue in cheek, so I do it tongue in cheek.

The light of genius never sets, but sheds itself upon other faces, in different hues of splendor. Homer glows in the softened beauty of Virgil, and Spenser revives in the decorated learning of Gray.

Most companies are built to execute today's business model, not discover tomorrow's.