I normally ignore the History Channel.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

The truth speaks for itself.

That one of history’s greatest brains struggled with amo, amas, amat should be consolation to anyone who has ever tried to learn a second language.

Next to entertaining or impressive talk a thoroughgoing silence manages to intrigue most people.

A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.

I never fail to feel let down when I see myself on the screen.

He that lieth down with Dogs, shall rise up with Fleas.

Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

Surely the job of fiction is to actually tell the truth. It's a paradox that's at the heart of any kind of storytelling.

Falling in love with love Is falling for make-believe.

Buying is a profound pleasure.