I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch...

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

The years teach much the days never know.

But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.

Look at me! I'm sweet and lovable!

[Eva Braun] loved [Adolf Hitler]. She would have done that had she been able to spend 10 minutes with him. She endured a lot on his behalf, there's a great deal on that subject to be said.

It was as if Hannah had sprung a leak and her character, usually so meticulous and contained, was spilling all over the place.

Chimpanzees are endangered. Severely.

You'd never last in South America. Fans take their radios to the stadium so they can think what the commentators think.

Once you're a Motown artist, you're always a Motown artist

The trick is to find the style that is right for you. When it comes to trying new clothes, my advice is not to take it too seriously - it's all about having fun.